Ten years have past. You both love each other, of course. You give a kiss to each every morning and night. You respect and trust each other. You might even have kids by now. Everything seems to work, the same routine every day, but… routine can be boring. Nevertheless, you’re happy having your man next to you every day.
You understand that your sex life is not WOW as it used to be. But, it’s okay. You both work hard, and he’s even making a great career and earning pretty good money. You’re more occupied with household. You both perfectly play your roles. You have a rich life, live in a beautiful house with four bedrooms and a big garden. You go on expensive holidays, 5* resorts, three times a year.
You regularly meet families of each other and your friends. Routine, but you enjoy it… somehow. You see the kids growing. You’re talking to your man to make a dream trip around the world when the kids go to universities, leave the house. You have nice plans.
But, within the routine, you notice that your man is slowly withdrawing. You don’t laugh together that much. He doesn’t seem to enjoy the time, the time only with you alone. He always needs other people around. You never go out, just two of you, you never date anymore. You hardly talk with each other. You’re having a strange feeling that something is wrong.
But you’re scared to talk to him, you’re scared to hear the hard truth, that he wants to leave you.
And that dramatic day comes, and he says, “I’m leaving”.
The things are…
Accept his decision. He’ll be shocked when you do that as he expects you to beg him not to leave you. You might even say, “Yes, you’re right, I’m not feeling love for the last few months”. This will drive him nuts. Now, he’ll feel rejected.
Don’t contact him for the next 30 days, under any circumstances, unless you have children. He’ll be thinking what you’re doing, why you’re not calling or texting him. Why you’re not desperate and needy to get him back. He’ll be wondering if you’re dating and if you could forget him that easily, and even move on so fast.
After those four weeks, he’ll probably contact you, as he would like to know whether now he has a chance to come back to you… as he missed you a lot. If he calls, make the conversation nice. Tell him, without details, how exciting your life is. Keep the talk short, no longer than 10 minutes, and say, “I’d love to talk to you a bit more, but I need to go, I have an appointment”
If he proposes to meet you, don’t call it a date. Meet him in a public place for a coffee, like an innocent meeting of two old friends. Let him start working hard to get you back. Let him win you. And you don’t rush anything.
“Breakups hurt, but losing someone who doesn’t respect and appreciate you, is a gain not a loss ”