On the way to happiness
In 2020 I was lucky to have met many wonderful people from all over the world. When we talked, they asked me how I found my happiness and positivity. This gave me an idea to share with you my ways to live every day happy and positive.
Let me share with you something that you can do right now.
I’m not going to talk today about communication skills. I’d like to tell you why words that seem to be least important in our communication – they count for only 7% of personal and successful communication according to Albert Mehrabian – yet, they play such a significant role.
Think for a moment about the words that you are using habitually every day, consciously and subconsciously. Do they give you energy, hope, pleasure? Do they inspire you? Or, the opposite – they make you feel hopeless or discouraged; they disempower you. You see, the way you express and describe your emotions and situations, is the way you experience reality. Those words have an incredible power on our inner peace and our inner happiness. The words we use give a meaning to what we see, hear, smell, feel, taste – they have a huge impact on our submodalities.
When you lose your job, you may say, “It’s a disaster, I feel frustrated, I hate my boss.” Disaster, frustrated, and hate are words that have a strong negative meaning, and they don’t help you find any solution, because you stay in a negative state. However, when in the same situation you say, “Things happen for a reason, yet, I’m worried, but I deserve a better boss,” you will go to a positive and resourceful state in which you will be able to find a solution. I also encourage you to read my article about taking responsibility.
This reminds me of a quote by Robin Sharma,
“Words can inspire and words can destroy. Choose yours well.”
So, think about the words that you use every day. If you find some of them too negative, replace them by other words that give you power, encouragement, and hope. Those words can be even weird or funny, whatever works for you. Instead of saying, “I hate my boss,” you may want to say, “I prefer another boss.”
Do this exercise also with words that you use to describe your positive emotions. If they are not empowering enough, replace them. For example, when you get a promotion, you may say, “I’m feeling good.” However, “I’ve never felt better” would probably give you more inner excitement. Instead of saying, “The idea is good,” you can say, “The idea is brilliant”. Instead of saying, “I have a great motivation for studying” and “I am capable,” you may say, “I have a great passion for studying” and “I am talented.”
And I don’t use the world “problem” anymore. I replaced it by “challenge.” It shifted my focus from thinking of the reasons to taking steps in order to find a solution.
What if you pay attention to the words you use for another 14 days, and see how this practice impacts your wellbeing, peace, and happiness. Have also in your mind that the tone of your voice reflects the true meaning of the words you use, the warmth, kindness, excitement or humor. Say out loud, “I’m good” and “I’m fine,” and pay attention to what you hear and how you feel saying both sentences. Please, also check out my article about asking the right questions.
It would be great to hear your thoughts in this topic in the comments.